As you all may know, Bozeman is a preeeety small town.

Main Street. The only one. Feel your heart tremble

So, luxuries like late night eateries, mamak places, midnight movie showings simply do not exist. In bigger, more civilized cities (namely Penang) one could drive around town for hours just soaking in the nightlife.Here in Bozeman, you could pretty much soak it up in 5 minutes. 2 if you'redriving. This is because the only "happening" (term used very, very loosely here) place in town is the above Main Street, a collection of eating places and snooty shops that closes at well, 5 pm (the shops anyways). So, what is a bored, real bored city-boy to do in this town?

Presenting...

Andrew's Guide to Surviving Bozeman

Stage of Boredom : Mild
For this you need : A tv
Procedure : Turn on the TV! Public TV here suprisingly has good shows to watch. Watch a couple of episodes of Grey's or American Idol and ta-da!, Boredom cured. If you have the misfortune of not being in front of the TV while these great, great shows are playing, fret not! American TV has lotsa other shows to keep you off the boredom meter. Even shows with extremely unfortunate titles like "Are you smarter than a fifth grader" and "Don't forget the Lyrics" become suprisingly addictive after a while. And, if you have cable TV, then, my friend, you will no longer be bored.........

Ed's note : Still cannot beat Astro-leh. Astro got Wah Lai Toi and Tom Tom Bak; American TV got or not..?!

Stage of Boredom : Medium stage
For this you need : A DVD player and countless of DVD's (prefably ones that you actually like watching. Have anyone actually sat through an entire DVD episode of Prison Break? Oh, i rather eat dry toenails)
Procedure : Pop one of the suckers into the DVD player and grab some chips cause we're gonna watch our way out of boredom! Trust me, no one will feel bored when Lost DVDs are in the player cause it's Lost! NO ONE gets bored when LOST is on.

Ed's note : Aleh, Penang got new DVDs for cheap. You watch DVDs also same ones nia always. Penang can buy new ones, America can meh?! Anyways, you don't have Lost DVDs.....

Stage of Boredom : Severe.
For this you need : The Laptop and decent Internet connection
Procedure : Behold the Laptop! Fear not, when Laptop is here, Boredom will run in fear! With the Laptop, one can watch shows (which also makes this a great cure for the mild and medium stage of boredom), surf the net for random things (wikipedia is the king!), read some random articles (msn.com), laugh along to some jokes (collegehumor.com recommended), watch some kids try to ski behind a car (youtube), listen to some tunes (imeem), search for recipes of beloved home food (kuali.com or some other food blog), read the newspaper (staronline), go blog trolling, facebooking, etc etc etc

Ed's note : There are only soo many sites one can visit nia before one tires out. How many times la can you modify your facebook personal page??

Stage of Boredom : Halfway in between watching paint dry or watching plants grow
For this you need : A stove, an oven, appropriate ingredients, a TV, a DVD player, a great DVD, a Laptop with wireless internet.
Procedure:
1) Pop a dvd in
2) Use laptop to display current recipe one is trying to recreate
3) Turn on the TV
4) Start prepping the ingredients
5) Cook while belting out "Come What May" from the Moulin Rouge DVD you're playing
6) Eat
7) Feel full
8) Repeat if boredom persists

You see, this has every component as driving around town in Penang. Loud music (check), wind in hair (check. from the air-thing, you know, the one that sucks the smoke out of the kitchen?), friends (check. on tv lo. I did not say real people. Or if your friends are back from their winter vacation already, have them over!), and food (you have to cook them).

Ed's note : wtf?

And finally, if all else fails.....

Sleep

So my friends, it is not that difficult to cure boredom here in Bozeman. Just follow the steps. And pray. You will be free one day.

Ed's note : Maybe if one were to finish their homework, they wouldn't have allll this time to get bored.
Ed's on Ed's note : Bitch